All crazy ramblings from yesterday aside I also discovered something else that could be potentially interesting over the last few days. During one of my misery days I decided that I was going to just eat whenever I was hungry, and stop worrying about weight. I seriously didn’t care if I was fat or thin I figured as long as I exercised, and ate good paleo food, I would be healthy regardless of my weight. So for that day I literally pigged out. I didn’t feel guilty about eating too much. I didn’t feel guilty if I ate 30 mins after I had already eaten. I just ate when I felt like it and didn’t distinguish between what those cravings were for. I just ate.
I can tell you it was extremely refreshing. It was also a big fuck you to the man (diet pressure), as well as been a very novel way of thinking about food for me. What I just eat…..whenever??? It felt great. But sure enough the old thoughts slowly crept back in. The ones telling me that I need to lose weight. I won’t feel good about myself unless I do. Now the jury is still out on this for me. I often wonder if I am losing weight for aesthetic reasons or for health. I mean is fat bad in and of itself, or is it the food we eat. Could it be possible to be overweight and be healthy. Certainly, many long term mortality studies seem to suggest so. In some of these studies overweight people were found to live longer than normal weight people (based off BMI). Fat people lived longer!!!
Man Im going way off track here. So, in short, I woke up with lots of energy and my mood was very elated from all the good food I had. It’s nice to have energy and not feel hungry. I even happily exercised because I had so much energy. But before I exercised I hopped on the scales. WTF!!! I had dropped a kilogram. I was down to 120kg (from 121kg). How can that be I had literally stuffed myself. But I went off to work and I decided that for that day I might just try eating when I am hungry again, making sure its healthy, and include some exercise. I checked out how much I ate and it was 3500 calories and my nutrients were higher than they had ever been. I was guessing somewhat as I had not counted my food.
Today I woke up, and to my absolute surprise I lost another kilogram. Down to 119 kg. Also my energy levels were skyrocketing. I woke up at 5:30am and started cleaning the house. This is NOT me. I looked forward to walking to work. I felt really really happy!!! My whole mood was so much more positive. Then my work colleague says to me today that she couldn’t put her finger on it but I looked noticeably better. I asked her to be more specific. She said she didn’t know but I just looked good, more healthy and happy.
Well today I started my new lab rat diet. I didn’t want to get off this buzz. So I decided why not just keep my calorie intake around 3500 calories. I just want to see whats going to happen. Still following the same rules I set – balanced carbs/fats, unprocessed and low density food. But I eat more. I did this and I didn’t feel too hungry, but I was more conscious of food. I was thinking about it a lot. Not real gonna die hunger but still a craving. Then I did a little mind trick. I said to myself ok just eat what you want for the rest of the day. Just eat if your hungry and eat until your full. This worked. My hunger vanished. Im sure that a lot of my hunger stems from the diet mentality and restriction. Yes this is an obvious one. But I always thought that if I took the brakes off, my weight would maintain not drop. This seems to have been the case before. But then before taking the brakes off mean’t cheat foods.
There are so many questions that have come out of this experience. Should I just eat well, exercise, and be fat and healthy (and happy)? Should I increase my calories? Should I no longer count calories (yikes) and eat whenever I damn well please and perhaps my weight will drop, albeit, very slowly? Thoughts anyone. Come on you know you want too.