Relapse I

8 Jun

Before I start I suggest anyone reading this go and read my post on how junk food can trigger addiction. If you read that, and don’t walk away thinking junk food is like cocaine, then good day to you sir!!!

I didn’t blog yesterday because I am in the midst of preparing a talk for a very important meeting tomorrow. I won’t bore you, but it is basically about getting some funding to do environmental monitoring of some freshwater ecosystems here. So when it comes to funding I get stressed. Needless to say I was up late last night writing the talk, which I give tomorrow. I only post now because I have finished it. I also didn’t write yesterday because there was nothing much to report. Same day as the last one. Getting hungry in the evenings (which apparently is a tell tale sign of food addiction) but thats about it.

Today I woke up and had some eggs for breakfast. Then I went to the workshop. Now I assumed since this was at a fancy hotel that my options for food would not be strictly limited. I intended on having some sort of salad. Well bad luck for me. There was the choice of carbs, more carbs, or high carb foods. Nothing existed without carbs. I couldn’t even have the insides of sandwiches as there wasn’t much. By this stage my stomach was rumbling and I knew I needed to stay awake and eat something.

I contemplated leaving and getting some food elsewhere but no one else did, and in these types of meetings its all about contacts!!! Going out for lunch by yourself is a big no no!!! So I stayed and I ate some small sandwiches, a pasta salad and some apple juice. I really did feel my hands were tied. Yes I could have been more gungho and simply starved myself. But let me tell you that my ability to not eat carby foods is via a thin shred of willpower. To not eat AT ALL was too much, and lets say I had a controlled explosion.

I feel bad because up to this point I have been perfect. Also, I feel bad because this is similar to doing a line of coke. In other words I have undone all my efforts. I can expect massive hunger now. But I can’t get too caught up in that thinking otherwise I really will unravel. I just have to soldier on and remind myself that everyone has a relapse every now and then. In this case it was a pretty minor incident as I did not have that much, and I did not go into a bigger binge because I had stuffed up.

So here is the damage.

Meals

Breakfast: Two Fried Eggs

Lunch: Assorted Sandwich mix, pasta salad, apple juice

Dinner: 2 X Pork Steaks, Asparagus, Almonds

Macronutrients

Fat 49% (sat 13%, poly 11%, mono 21%)

Carbohydrates 27% (177g)

Protein 24%

All in all its not that terrible. I have had 2600 calories of food. My nutrients were lower than normal and I was deficient in Vitamin C, Calcium, Magnesium and Potassium. Could have been worse!

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4 Responses to “Relapse I”

  1. Carla June 8, 2010 at 10:03 pm #

    A couple of positives stand out for me here. One, you did not binge, and two, you did not eat any sweets. I don’t think you did that badly at all! You ate a reasonable portion of food, and you did the best that you could. Speaking from personal experience here, sometimes it is worse to not eat anything in these situations because it could trigger some bingeing later on, and that would be worse.

    • Dan June 8, 2010 at 11:26 pm #

      Yeah I feel much better about it now. I felt bad, and then when I wrote down what I did I didn’t feel as bad anymore. Not the best scenario but I came through it which is the main thing.

  2. TPSW June 8, 2010 at 11:14 pm #

    I think you actually did pretty well. Especially since you got back up on the horse after getting thrown. That is so important.

    • Dan June 8, 2010 at 11:27 pm #

      yes I think so. I was determined not to force myself to be strict so that I didn’t enter into binge behaviour. I also knew I would make myself admit this to you all because I want to be upfront and honest.

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